A Woman Scorned

When I look into the eyes you were blessed with all I can see is betrayal. Feelings of disgust and pain rise through my body like the temperature of boiling water. The love and devotion I have dedicated to you has dried up and is now withering away. Lost in my own confusion I still let you take part in living life as one union but the union is and forever will be a lie. Just like the lies that have built the foundation of our relationship,  now they are tearing down my wall of ignorance. I am now seeing what was in plain sight but blind to my view. I can no longer believe what I want because the truth is now my strongest muscle. No longer can the darkness of your manipulation keep me hostage because the light has broken my bondage. Anger has risen in my hurt and now love is a prisoner in its own home. The pain you have caused me can never be forgiven so easily. My wrath hasn't even started my love for you is holding it back. Sometimes I think how can I be mad but that's just my heart speaking out of love. My mind is replaying the disgust back to me down to the second and every time you smile and laugh, my angers regains consciousness.

If you aren't scared yet then you should be.

Sincerely,

A woman scorned

Teea.lynn@gmail.com

Daddy's Little Girl

Everyday with out him is another day of missing security. Wondering what he looks like I come up with a picture of tall, bronze, muscular, and rough. Smells of old spice in the air as he enters a room. His smile brightens the room sending the sunshine straight to the unemployment line. The way he walks exemplifies his authority to the residents occupying the room. His stature reinforces stability symbolic to a tall tree. Leaving for work everyday and every week bringing home a paycheck to his family. A family who does not include me. Everyday I picture this man will come and sit me on his lap. Showering me with love and affection calling me princess and bringing me gifts. Hours of bonding leads to days followed by months and turning into years. But not for me, hours of wondering lead to days of fear followed by months of crying turning into years of broken relationships. I never learned to love a man or to be loved by one. My mistakes can't be corrected, only learned from. I guess who will be my perfect mate because I will never know how it feels to be loved by a real man. I will never understand how to say NO. But I am a expert on how to submit myself, my morals, values, and feelings; all so he won't walk out the door. Who is he? The first man that said he loved me and made me feel that way mentally and physically. Wow I never knew a man could make women feel like this, I think I like it. But is it right, does he treat me like queen? No. Does he give me everything? No. But if I don't do what he wants he will leave and take that love away. I won't risk it I need him. So I'll get pregnant then where can he go, he will be obligated to stay and he'll have to take care of me and give me love. "Congrats on the new baby, but where is the dad?" Oh him he bounced as soon as I told him now I am stuck with a baby I do not want and finances I can't afford. Every man that comes into my life is quick to leave. Depression, loneliness, suffering, suicide. Who am I: Daddy's Little Girl.